A place to find Hope

Tag: hate

How do We Handle Someone Who Hates Us and is Very Hurtful?

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I am feeling much better today. The side effects of the COVID-19 shot are gone. So many people still haven’t even received their first shot. They need to increase the amount of the shots, and move quickly.

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I had a “run in,” with a Facebook guy today. He was very bitter with life, so I took it on myself to try to cheer him up. He wasn’t very receptive.

He was despondent over the fact that I had the nerve to post these words,

” Have you been in an outhouse all of your life? Want to live in a penthouse? Let God be the throne of your life. He will raise you up out of the muck and mire and build a mansion for you.”

His reply,

I’ve heard that many times before. But I always end up in another outhouse. Can you please get god to explain why he’s not giving me what you keep promising?’

My reply,

“The mansion is in Heaven. Our time on earth for a short time. Enjoy it.”

His reply,

*Very graphic from here on. He became very bitter and attacked me verbally.

“Well, that doesn’t do me any good until I’m &%*#@! dead.

My reply,

“Sorry you feel that way. Hope everything works well for you.”

His reply,

“You are not sorry! You are just another con artist with nothing realistic to say. Everyone should just cry now and do some more dope. Get yourself an emotion meter and stick it up your &%$#! Then wait for God to unplug you.”

His last reply,

“Listen dummy when I say goodbye it doesn’t require any response.

My heart cried out to him. He is in a very dark place, and has allowed this world to overcome him. The only way to free himself from his world is to turn to Jesus.

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This type of person is all too common in our world today. They flounder around; not knowing where they are going, and are lost and struggling.

There needs to be people near him to love him and let him know there is hope. He thinks there is no where to go, and yet it is staring him in the face.

Does God love someone like this? Of course He does. He loves everyone. God doesn’t go checking how good or bad you are, God still loves you.

This man who attacked me, needs to find hope and love, I am asking for you to pray for him. I will not give you his name even though I know it. Pray and God will know who you mean.

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How are you doing? Are you drowning in the muck and mire and, can’t see a way out?

God picked me up from the muck and mire, and got me on the right path. He can do that for you too.

Do not let the dark side overcome you like it has for this Facebook person. Seek the light of Jesus. He will guide you on your path.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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There Are “Karens,” Out There Who are Racist

There is far too much anger floating around. I saw a Facebook page that shows a “Karen,” yelling racist words at two girls who were from Asia. The words were of course hurtful. The two girls took it, and kept walking.

I have no idea where they came up with the term “Karens,” I have friends who have that name. However, it is now a label, and you see far too much of them hurting people.

Makes me think of the Bible. In Luke: 25-37 we are told that Samaritans were hated by the Jews. People ignored them and were forbidden to associate with them.

Jesus told a parable about this.

A man was walking on a road back to his home. A thief attacked him and took all of his belongings. He left the person for dead on the road.

He laid there bleeding and dying. Along came a priest. When he saw the man he went to the other side of the road to pass him. Likewise a Levite also went to the other side of the road to avoid him. But a Samaritan came to where he was and had deep compassion. He fixed up his wounds and put him on his own animal. He took him to an Inn, and asked them to care for him. He said he would pay for anything they used to help him.

Jesus told his disciples to do like the Samaritan.

Which one are you of the three men do you fit into? Are you the Priest, Levite, or the Samaritan?

It is so easy to get angry. It happens to all of us. We probably wouldn’t attack someone and take all their belongings, but we do get overly angry at times.

I try to think about someone who may have made me angry. I have learned that love extends further than pride. We need to swallow our pride, and forgive people.

Who has the lord placed in your path to make you angry. Make a list right now. I have done that. It is sitting right next to me.

Thank of each one of them. What did they do to make you angry? Is it worth it to just go on like it didn’t happen?

I think not.

Love is not just love. It is love in action.

Using words like you are expendable, or you are worthless, should be in our vocabulary.

The sad part is that we seem to define ourselves by who we disagree with.

It is OK to disagree, but not to hate.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never unloved.

You are never forsaken.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

We Need to Spread Love, Not Hate

How can we exist will all the turmoil going on around us? The Pandemic is growing fast again, with even other strands coming with it that are much more contagious.

We still have huge unrest in our country. Rioting, arson, tearing down statues, killings, Looting, and terror.

Where do we go for help? What can we do to overcome this?

We have a ugly new problem raising in our country. It is the “Karen’s,” that are causing it. They verbally attack black people with hateful words and even have pointed guns at them.

They have no concept of love. They only know hate.

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What the world needs now is love, sweet love! Where do they get it?

Well… it is simple to figure out of you are a Christian. We are suppose to be the poster child’s for love, right? Unfortunately that is not completely true. There are people right in my home church who seem to love to degrade others.

I am very saddened by this. I can not understand how someone can hate so much. They must hate themselves.

What we need to do is put God first in our lives. We need to try to live a life like Jesus. He never sinned. He never was mean to anyone. He loved everyone.

Speaking of posters child’s. We should be a poster child that shows love to everyone. What a difference that would make in our world today.

If you are struggling with thinking about wrong things, take an inventory of your life, and see where it is coming from. Push the negatives out of your mind and feel it with love and understanding.

Love is not just a four letter word. It is the word that changes the world.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

A Story About Suicide

We have had a disaster here at Signs of Hope. We had a crash that is not fully explained as of yet, but the bottom line is that we have lost ALL of our subscribers. We had 108,000 or more and they are gone. We are starting with zero again tonight. We don’t have this new site up and running the way we want it yet. You can’t even subscribe.

We will continue to share hope, and reaching out to you that are battling Anxiety, fear, failure, depression, and the many other usual suspects. Don’t give up. We will be strong again!!

Please come back and subscribe once we have that subscription feature again. 

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Love in the Time of Suicide

by

Linda S. Clare

 

That day, my friend was too exhausted to cry anymore. She sipped her tea and picked at the banana bread I’d made, but she hardly looked at me.

Her husband had tried it. Again.

She stared at the floor, describing the local hospital’s beige and dreary psychiatric ward. When she’d visited, my friend’s husband had chatted about the hospital’s dinner menu. “I think I’ll order the mashed potatoes,” he’d chirped. He seemed to bask in the attention, as if suicide was the best way to spice up a dull morning.

“Did he say why?” I winced.

Her words stung. “When they asked him, he shrugged and said he just decided.” She’d already told me about her husband’s anger problem, and that she was his favorite target.

Then, her voice pinched. “Two attempts, both with weapons, in one year,” she said. “The doctor says he can’t come home this time.”

She paused while I gazed at the potted pink geraniums soaking up sun on the back deck. He was the family gardener—who would tend to the plants? My friend’s pretty face had taken on a grayish cast, even in the warm afternoon light. Should she walk away from this troubled relationship, or stay? She said, “I have some decisions to make.”

My mind had already leapt to the conclusion reached by the doctors, her family and her pastor. “Wanna know what I think?” I blurted it out as I pictured plucking my wonderful friend right out of this terrible situation and whisking her to safety.

“Wait.” She asked me to listen. “Through all of this, I’ve been thinking about your “just love” writing.”

Weeks earlier, when the county jail chaplain told me he didn’t believe in Tough Love—defined as ending relationship with addicts unless they got clean—I’d felt so validated. No, what I needed was a Just Love—the capacity to grant every person, addicts included, dignity and hope without judgment.

Just Love also calls for relationship—meaning both parties are required to offer the same humanity to one another. In a Just Love world, we dare to see addicts or any marginalized persons, as more than something they’ve done or not done. Just Love extends God’s patient, loving attitude to the least of these. Simple.

Most importantly, with Just Love I don’t necessarily have to turn away from my addicted/alcoholic sons. My friend hasn’t always seen it my way, asking if my addicted loved ones are getting the better part of the deal.

But on this day, my friend and I had switched places. Instead of her patiently tolerating my heartfelt belief in supporting my addicted/alcoholic sons, refusing to kick them out until they achieve sobriety, now she was the one who contemplated hanging in there for her husband.

“He had a knife,” I countered. “He could have killed you!”

“But I love him,” she said quietly. “How can I give up on him?”

The week before, she’d raised questions: What did Just Love look like if an addicted or mentally ill loved one acted out violently? Should we accept her even if she endangers lives? How about if he’s verbally or emotionally abusive?

I still wanted to protect my friend, but I had to admit: this is what Just Love looked like from the outside. And watching her suffer, love wasn’t simple at all.

While I was quick to want to separate my friend from her spouse, now she grappled with the same heartbreaking ideas that have dogged me: Do I cut bait and save myself? Which is better—Tough Love or Just Love?

I knew which option I’d choose for her—get the heck out of there before something terrible happened. But to be fair, I tried to see the situation from her vantage point. Suddenly things looked much different.

First, I had to admit that my friend seems to understand things about her husband that I don’t. She loves him for reasons that I can never know.

By that standard, I can’t stop loving my grown children, addictions and all. When it comes to the marginalized—people at the bottom of society who are kept down by punishment, shunning or fear, our knee-jerk reaction is to turn away. But according to the Bible, love is the best response, the response God requires of us.

But it’s not hard to love your own flesh and blood. When I viewed this same belief as an outsider, I began to understand why so many friends (and some who are just tired of my point of view) insist I adopt Tough Love with my sons.

They care.

They want me to be safe and happy—exactly what I want for my friend. And I’ve always said that I draw the line at violence—my sons’ or anyone else’s. From where I sat, the whole suicide scene must have been dangerous: she’d removed the knife from her husband’s hand as he sat nearly comatose. He’d swallowed a boatload of pills, too. But what if he’d played dead, only to attack her with that knife?

“He’d never do that,” she said.

Only a couple weeks before, I’d said the same thing when my meth-fueled son made menacing gestures at a big pot of boiling water on the stove just inches away from me. I didn’t know for sure, but because I’m his mom, I bet that I knew him better than most. I gambled that he wouldn’t hurt me.

She insisted her husband would never lift a finger against her, either. We both sensed our loved ones wouldn’t harm us. You might say we each relied upon a kind of deeper knowing that helped us through it.

This deeper knowing sometimes backfires. Domestic violence sometimes does turn deadly. I hate that. And I would never sentence anyone to a lifetime of abuse from someone who supposedly loves them. Sometimes the hurt is too deep and the bridge is too far and the best thing to do is walk (or run) away—Tough Love as survival.

But in other cases, like mine, Just Love feels more appropriate. My sons aren’t bad or trying to inflict abuse upon anyone but themselves. When my sons have been violent against one another I’ve seen it as the logical end to a bunch of rowdy boys’ drinking bouts. They haven’t shot up the neighborhood or tried to off themselves—well, not that often—and I keep nudging them toward treatment.  I’ve allowed them to stay in my home long past what Tough Love recommends, but in my opinion, not past what God recommends.

Right or wrong, I refuse to give up on them. Now my friend must make the same decisions about her marriage even as the docs work to have her husband committed. To Tough Love him to the curb or keep Just Loving him?

Over and over, God shows us the way of love. Even though we tend to associate love with warm, fuzzy feelings, in practice we experience love as the most dangerous place to be—love settles us in the crosshairs of vulnerability. In moments when we’re already down for the count, love can hurt, reject or abandon us. Anyone who dares to keep loving a misfit, who won’t give up hope even when the rest of the world has walked away, is either angelic or a darned fool. Practicing Just Love isn’t for everybody, but I still believe it is for me.

My friend may decide that detaching with love is her best response to her husband’s problems. Or she may extend the relationship with Just Love. She’ll invest in the hope that the marriage can heal and he’ll promise to work through the issues.

When her husband is released, I hope he never again attempts suicide.  And I hope Just Love helps her stay safe and happy in her marriage just as I hope my sons will seek treatment for their addictions.

To keep this kind of hope alive, we must consider the dangers, and ask ourselves again and again: Dare we risk it all for Love? Live dangerously? For me, God’s answer is always simple. “Just Love,” the One who is Love says, “Just Love.”

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