A place to find Hope

Category: coping (Page 3 of 13)

Everything That Can go Wrong Probably Will

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I had four days of exercise last week. At my age you would think that I was almost dead. 🙂 However, I now feel stronger, and will be doing four more days of exercise this week. We will see what happens.

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I am sharing another excerpt from my first book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.

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Chapter 2

Everything that Can Go Wrong Probably Will

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

 he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

Murphy must have been a sad soul. We all live by the laws he created for us. It seems that we blame everything that goes wrong on Murphy’s Law.

You’ve had those days. You get up in the morning and start out happy as a clam. (Not sure how happy that is.) You have some errands to do, and you begin to do them.

You run out of gas, or you have a flat tire. You forgot your grocery list. The item you thought was on sale wasn’t. There is an accident on the freeway, and you are stuck for hours.

Ever had those kinds of days? Let me tell you about mine! I had volunteered to help my son Greg out when he vacationed in Disneyland with my granddaughter Molly. I told him I would pick up his mail every day, put the garbage cans back on Tuesday, and feed Charlie the cat all week.

Everything went well Sunday through Tuesday. But on Wednesday, the worst thing happened. I lost the door key. I had it in my summer shorts when I went to shower. I took off the shorts, showered, and then put on a clean pair of shorts. I left the house and headed over to my son’s house.

Charlie was waiting for me, and already had started his purring sound to let me know he was glad to see me. I got the mail, walked up to the door and reached into my pocket to get the key. It wasn’t there. Charlie was looking up at me looking like, “Why are you taking so long to open the door?”

“Sorry Charlie,” I muttered, sounding like a tuna commercial. “I have to go back home and get the key.” He wasn’t very happy with me as I walked to my car. I felt badly.

I got home and looked everywhere for the key. It was nowhere in sight. I even dumped out the hamper where the dirty clothes were. Zilch! Notta! Ouch!

I remembered that we had a bunch of extra keys in the desk drawer that had no names on them. I dug all of them out and drove back to my son’s house. You guessed it: None of them worked!

I was desperate by this time. I thought that I might have to call a locksmith, or call my son and have him Fed Ex his keys to me.

I prayed for help from God and immediately thought of calling my wife Charlotte to see if she had any ideas. (This was my close encounter with God.) I probably sounded shook up when she answered the phone—maybe because my only words were, “Now what do I do?”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’ve lost the key to the house, and the cat food is on the inside.”

Without hesitating, she suggested, “Go to the grocery store and buy another bag of cat food and feed Charlie outside. He’s an outside cat anyway. Greg can make a new key when he gets home.”

Charlie was really mad at me when I left the second time without feeding him. I returned with a tasty tuna and salmon meal (yum). He gobbled it up and was purring again when I left.

Of course, going to the grocery store was the obvious choice. (You realize, of course, that I actually knew it all along. I was just testing Charlotte.) The important thing was that the answer came after I had prayed for help. Charlotte was the messenger, but God answered the prayer.

God can answer prayers in many ways. It can be directly, or it can be through someone else. Charlotte was my answer to prayer. She knew the easy solution I needed, but I wasn’t able to think of.

Do you call on God to help you when you have a problem, or do you panic like I did? (God has a speed dial you know.) At least, I knew I couldn’t do it on my own and turned to God for help. The calming feeling that came as soon as I finished praying was very reassuring.

It was in God’s hands, and I knew something good would happen. Charlie got fed, and I have a whole bag of cat food for future lockouts.

Don’t let obstacles stop you. Turn your problems over to God. Let Him figure out a solution. It may not come as fast as mine did, but He will work it out the way He knows is best for you.

Since I am on the subject of prayer, please don’t just call on God when there is a problem. Talk to God every day. He loves to hear from you.

I know it is hard to pray when you are at work. It is hard to pray while you are driving. But you know what? When you are driving might be the best time to pray. It is when you are likely to be tense and need a calming spirit. A guy is blowing his horn behind you. Pray seeking patience because you do not know what is going on in this man’s life. He may want to get home because his wife called and is ready to have their first baby. Wouldn’t you be honking?

Prayer should be done without ceasing. Pray each and every day. Use it to praise God. Use it to thank Him for your good health. Use it to pray for peace. Whatever is on your mind, God wants to hear from you. It should be like He is sitting in the room with you. Carry on a conversation with Him.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6–7

Further Adventures

Have you gone along in life thinking that everything is fine, only to have a day that makes you realize that the world is not always a rose garden? First of all, remember that we can’t look at everything through rose-colored glasses.

Second, when a bad day comes knocking at your door like it was your long-lost relative, make sure it understands that it can only stay for that day. Then boot it out at the end of the day by giving it over to God in prayer. You should never let your bad days stay longer than they should.

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that we always have a direct line to God, but we sometimes think the connection is dead?

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I will be sharing more excerpts in the future so keep coming back. Better yet…go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will directly to your inbox.

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Does it seem like the storms are coming too often? Would you rather stay in bed all day?

FEAR NOT!

God is with you 24/7. He will never forsake you. Lean on Him as your fortress. Never give in to the darkside.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Are You Tired of Going Round and Round in This World?

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It has been a quiet day today. (Sure need those from time to time.) I just finished my post at www.dougbolton.com. Go there to see my latest excerpt from my upcoming book, Signs of Hope for the Military: In and Out of the Trenches of Life.

If you or anyone you know are military. This is the site for you.

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Here is another excerpt from my first book, Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in This Unfriendly World.

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Chapter 1

Stop the World and Let Me Off. I’m Tired of Going ’Round and ’Round

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

I was out of control. The sobbing filled my eyes with tears. I couldn’t see the road ahead of me as I drove my Explorer.

Everything seemed to be going wrong in my life. I had quit two jobs because of guilt. I even failed at running my own business. I quit the two jobs because I had to sell something to customers and I had a hard time trying to force people to buy something they may not really need.

The business that failed was a cash flow venture that helped businesses have a better flow of money while they waited for their accounts receivables to come in. I left that venture because I again had to convince people to take part in something they may not have needed.

Depression, self doubt, fear, anxiety, and even hopelessness, overcame me until I was in the pit of despair. I was a happily married man with three children and several grandchildren. I had a wonderful 25-year teaching career. Why was I feeling so low? Why did I feel so unloved?

All I wanted to do was to stop the madness and check out of this wretched hotel called Earth! I pulled my SUV into a high school parking lot in a secluded area. I was ready to commit suicide. The date was March 31, 2001. The next day was April Fools Day. A very fitting time to have your life end, don’t you think?

I did have the common sense to call my wife Charlotte. She came quickly to where I was. She calmed me down enough to where I thought I could drive myself home. After she left, I sat there behind the steering wheel still crying, and then I yelled, “God, I can’t take this anymore!”

In a flash, there was calmness in me. It even felt different in the vehicle. The air was fresher and cooler. It was as if God were saying, “It’s about time you came back to Me. I have been waiting for you. Let Me carry you the rest of the way.”

My life changed that day. I gave my life back to God.

I had been a Christian since I was about 16. But I was the poster child for a lukewarm Christian.

Yes, I went to church and made sure my children went also, but I wouldn’t say I was a perfect example for them. I rose up in my church to where I was the Sunday school superintendent and on the important Pastor-Parish Relations Committee, but in my heart I didn’t put God first.

On Sundays, I stayed home if there was a good football game on. You didn’t have to go to church every Sunday, did you? God let me know I did. He also let me know of a new direction for me to go.

Why had I allowed myself to fall to such a low spot? Why had I drifted so far away from God?

The answer my friend is I was in a battle with many afflictions like self-doubt, anxiety, etc. Those aren’t fancy medical terms like cardiovascular disease or leukemia, but they are just as deadly. These demons of the mind can control your life to the point where you are not functional. It can cause you to hide from the world and let your life go on unnoticed until you die. It can push you to ending your own life.

This book is for those who want to discuss all the enemies of man like self-doubt, fear of failure, divorce, death in the family, and many others. I want to share with you how God used me to write this book, and how He pulled me out of the muck and mire.

The walls we put up in life can be caused by a loss of a loved one or extreme trauma. We can put them up because of sexual abuse, inappropriate or unclear expectations, divorce, poverty, violence in the family, family addiction or environment.

Do you often feel like you don’t want to go to work? Are there times when you feel like you would rather stay in bed and not face the world? Have you fallen into the pit of despair without even knowing why you did? Have you ever felt lost—and alone?

You are not alone! Close to 19 million American adults, or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older, suffer from some kind of handicapping mental disorder in a given year.1

Now that I have totally broken you down—there is hope! There are treatments that can help you. See your doctor to find what treatment is best for you. Then go to where there is eternal treatment, and that is through your loving heavenly Father.

The first part of this book talks about putting on God’s armor and fighting against the many mental afflictions. This information is from the horse’s mouth. That would be me. I have gone through many battles of my own. I have felt lost, and I thought that there was nowhere to go. I lived that way for many years. I existed from day to day, struggling with my emotions. I found out that I didn’t need to go through the torture. I had places I could go for help. I found out what they were, and I invite you to find out too.

            Bare with me! There is a happy ending.

“I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

Isaiah 57:18–19

Further Adventures

You know how easy it is to let your emotions take over in your life. You’ve been there. It is too easy to let the little things grow from molehills to mountains. When each trial comes up, try to put it into perspective. Is it something that is going to be life-changing? Is it something you can’t handle yourself?

You could tell in this chapter that I couldn’t handle what was happening to me, and what happened next? I felt God was changing me.

Stop in the middle of your grief and say, “Why am I so out of control? What can I do to stop this madness?” The answer was easy for me. I ran to God like a long lost prodigal son, and He opened His arms and took me back in like any father would do with his own son. You should do the same: Run to God and let Him carry you the rest of the way through your life like He is doing for me.

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how we let the smallest winds grow into a full-blown storm?

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I will be sharing more excerpts in the future so keep coming back. Better yet..go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly to your inbox. You will glad you did.

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Battling the darkside? Things seem too scary for you right now?

FEAR NOT!

GOD IS IN CHARGE!!

He will not let you be tempted any more than you can handle. Lean on Him to be your fortress, and protector.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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God is Speaking to You. Are You Listening to Him?

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It is the new year. A new beginning, and we need to forget the negatives from the past.

Have you planned your new year? Are there things you want to change? I have a long list of I want to do. I know I will not be able to do them all. I made the list very long to push me hard.

The first thing on my list is to read the Bible again. I have done it several times, and I have always learned something new everytime I do.

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I remember back when we didn’t have cell phones. It was very hard to get help when you were stuck on the road, and had a flat tire. You had to walk to the nearest phone booth and call for help.

No communication!

Think about this…God’s Word to us will never go away. Not even technology can get rid of God’s words.

God speaks to us through His Word. Are you listening?

This year we ALL need to feed on, delight in, learn from, grow by, stand upon the unchanging life, transforming Word of God.

To truly know God, we must know His word.

God spoke, and it was written down by Moses, the prophets, and disciples. God’s Word is pure trustworthy, and each Word will guide your life.

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I am announcing that with the with the next post there will be changes. You need to come back to see what those changes are. I think you will delight in the new formatt. To make sure you find out what it is, go to the top of this page and click on “Subscribe.” When you do all future posts will come directly into your inbox.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Storms Come Storms Go, But God is There for You

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We got hit by a surprise snow storm that lasted three days. We were in lockdown. 7 inches of snow isn’t much,but there are far too many people who don’t know how to drive in snow.

I got a lot done around the house, so I wasn’t too upset. What did happen however, was that I couldn’t go anywhere, because my wife needed to drive my four wheel drive vehicle.

I had too much free time, so a I read. Best thing that could have happen to me. I love to read, and it was very soothing.

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Have you had sudden storms in your life? Car broke down. Your child is sick. The end of your money came before before the end of the month. The pandemic has hit your friends and family.

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What we all need to do is pray. Pray for God’s intervention. He knows our needs and all we have to do is ask. Why should we have to ask? I see it as God is our heavenly Father and wouldn’t you ask you earthly father for help if you needed it?Of course we would.

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There will be storms ahead, and we need to be strong and face them with God’s help. Never give in to the darkside. Be strong.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Mary Did You Know?

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I sat and thought about Mary, mother of Jesus. What a task she was asked to do.

Most scholars think she was between 12-14 years old. They allowed men to have very young wives.

Mary met Joseph and they traveled together.

Suddenly, Mary was pregnant. She was only engaged and not married. I wonder what Joseph thought. “Should I quietly leave mary?” An angel came to him and said, “Fear not!” Mary will conceive the child of God.” Joseph understood, and stayed with Mary.

Mary was very scared and asked why she was chosen. Another angel came to her and told her, ” You will be the mother of God’s son. Call Him Jesus.”

So they went to Bethlehem and gave birth to Jesus. They had to stay in a dirty barn with many animals in it. Mary wrapped Jesus in swaddling clothes.

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This is where I really started wondering when I read this in the Bible. What did Mary know about this little child of hers? I found a song that covers it real well, and I am going to share it with you:

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Mary Did You Know?

Words by Mark Lowry

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy has come to make new; this child that you delivered will soon deliver you?

Mary, did you know that you baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would calm a storm with His hand?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

Mary, did you know that when you kiss your little baby boy, you are kissing the face of God?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy will rule all the nations?

Mary, did you know that your baby boy was Heaven’s perfect lamb?

Mary, did you know that the sleeping child you are holding is the great, the Great I Am?

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That cleared everything up for me. Jesus is the son of God, and Mary is His mother.

Be blessed knowing that Jesus has the perfect CHRISTmas present for you. Eternal life.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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How Do We Battle the Forces of Evil in Our World?

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How do we battle the forces of evil in our world? What can we do to fight back?

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Things I have learned the way to battle in this not so friendly world:

  1. We have to have the right relationship with God.
  2. We have to have the right thinking.
  3. We have to have the right moral behavior for God’s glory.
  4. We need the kind of belief that leads to the right behavior.
  5. We need to keep ourselves in the love of God.
  6. We need to remain under the influence of God’s love through obedience.
  7. We need to remain steadfast through all of this.

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That is my list. What would your list be like? Do you want to have God on your side helping you, or do you think like many people do? They think they can face the world alone.

That would be very difficult if not impossible. In my opinion life without God is a dead end.

Think about what you are doing. Is it the right thing? Do you wish you didn’t have so many storms in your life? God is the answer. He will be with you during the storms. He will guide you in your life, and make it better.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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It is So Hard to Lose a Loved One

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It was so very sad to hear that a Navy Seal Officer was killed while training. My prayers go out to his family.

I have been there. I have lost several dear people in my life. My mother and father have passed. One of my brother-in-laws has passed. A friend, who was a groomsman at my wedding has passed.

I lost four students I had while teaching. I was very close to each of them. One was a suicide, which struck my heart even more.

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We may ask why God has taken them away from us. I can’t give you a good answer except that God is in charge, and He chooses when we go to meet him in heaven. The loss is hard, at best, to accept, but we must carry on in this earth. We are only here a short time compared to the eternity we will be living in heaven.

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Be strong. Stay the course and enjoy each day God has given you. You will see all those you lost again in heaven.

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Never be angry at God for His choices. Praise Him; love Him: and obey Him. He loves you more than you can ever know.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Just Because We’re Getting Older, Doesn’t Make Us Weaker

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I had a bad/good time going to see the Singing Christmas Tree in Tigard. It is a incredible show that has you feeling the Christmas spirit.

However, I have slowed down considerably the last couple of years. I had to have a cane to walk. Of course our seats were at the very top. I struggled big time going up those steps to my seat. People were looking at me with sympathy. Several wanted to help me, but I turned them down.

Of course I had to go to the bathroom twice during the performance! My nephew graciously helped me both times.

Like I said, the performance was incredible, with professional sounding singers. My favorite part was when the children’s choir sang. Their little angelical voices warmed my heart.

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Are you having similar problems? Do you struggle to go grocery shopping? Do you need someone else to get things for you?

You certainly are not alone. The number of 65 and older group in our world has grown a great deal. Many more people are getting past their prime.

Here is the most important thing for you to remember:

Having to need help does not make you any less of a person than anyone else.

You breathe the same air. You put your clothes on the same way. You have a lot to contribute to society.

Never let anyone degrade you for your slowness and incapacities. They will be there themselves some day.

God loves you the way your are. Know that you will have a new body when you get to heaven. There will be no pain, and no death.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are enver unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Sometimes When We Try to Defend Ourselves We Get in Trouble

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I have found that I often get into more trouble when I fight back. Sometimes we are so quick to defend ourselves we don’t stop to consider how those who are attacking us are seeing things.

If what they say true, then we have to have a listening spirit not an angry spirit.

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In the Bible they tried to attack Jesus. They tried to make him angry. It didn’t work. He loved everyone, and treated them with respect. He went all they way to the cross loving people and died for us.

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Take inventory of the past where you were attacked. Was it justified? Did you react with anger yourself?

We need to stop and “Count to ten,” when we are being attacked and let it settle in first. Then, with a clear head we can react in the proper manner. I never meant to say you should NEVER fight back. If you are right and it is the right idea, make your stand, because you are on the right side.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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Old Age Ain’t For Sissies.

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Today, I am going to talk about aging. I am an expert! (80 something)

It is so hard once we reach the “golden,” years. Things slow down. Not just in the world, but in your body.

I try to walk as much as I can, but things aren’t going in my direction.

Yesterday, I decided to go on a short walk on my own street, which is a Cul-de-Sac. I did the first trip around, and headed for my second. I got about half way and suddenly realized I had rubbery legs for some reason.

It got worse quickly. I started wavering like a drunken sailor. I was afraid I was going to fall. I struggled big time to finish.

I made it back into the house and crashed at my desk. It took me a long time to recuperate.

What was going on?

I was getting older, and the tent I am living in was getting leaks!

This frightened me big time. Do I need to make funeral preparations?

NO!

I just need to accept that I can only do what I can do. I shouldn’t try to stretch my abilities beyond what I can do.

I am not going to stop walking, but I will start out at a shorter distance and work my way up to longer walks.

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Do you have this same problem? Is age creeping up on you, and you are really feeling it? You certainly are not alone. The majority of humans on this earth are getting up in years.

I have been thinking hard laterly. (It is giving me a headache.)

Why am I fighting old age? I should embrace the days God is giving me.

I saw a great acronym the other day. Instead of TGIF, It should be TGIT Thank God it’s today. We need to thank God for every day He is giving us, and not worry about how things seem to be getting very tough for us to do.

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Remember:

You are never alone.

You are never forsaken.

You are never unloved.

And above all…never, ever, give up!

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+If you like what you see, please subscribe at the top of this page where it says, “subscribe.” When you do, all future posts will come directly to your inbox. Also, if you know some else who could benefit from this site, please let them know.

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